Supernatural Fic, Flashback Challenge.
Pairing/Characters: Wee!Chesters and Papa Winchester.
Word Count: 591
Summary: Dean bites his nails for more reasons than one.
Disclaimer: I merely play with them for fun. Kripke is the genius behind this stuff.
Spoilers: None, I think.
Notes: It's sort of angst-y, with mentions of abuse. Wee!Chesters. Done for the flashback_fic23 challenge at sn_flashback. Table With Prompts (Prompt: Habit.) Also, this wasn't beta'd so excuse the crap grammar and misplaced commas.
Cross-posted at: spn_brotherlove, sn_flashback and wincest_free
Dean has a bad habit of biting his nails down to bloody, sore to the touch, stubs. He usually does it when he’s with his father and Sammy’s with Pastor Jim. Dean doesn’t like to be away from Sammy, doesn’t like to go on trips with only his father. He gets ignored a lot and doesn’t have anyone to talk to.
Although Dean is only eight, John will leave him alone in a motel room all day and sometimes night. Come back bruised, bloody and sometimes drunk. Dean doesn’t like when he comes back drunk, because he has to pretend to sleep until his father passes out. He wishes sometimes that his father would leave him with Pastor Jim, too. Doesn’t see the point in coming along if he only gets in the way.
John doesn’t see what he’s doing to Dean, doesn’t realize that he’s being selfish. But because he doesn’t like to be alone on long road trips, he brings Dean along under the impression that he’s teaching him things that school or Pastor Jim never could.
When Dean and Sam are together for long periods of time, Dean’s fingernails are perfect, kept to the right length and cleaned occasionally. He doesn’t fake sleep, and lay awake alone at night, wishing he were holding Sammy. Who still crawls into bed with him.
After long road trips, Dean will hold Sam. Won’t want to let him go, or even let him out of his site for even a minute. When his father leaves the room and Sammy and Dean are alone, Dean will hold Sam for as long as he can, curl up on the couch with him in his lap and watch TV for hours.
Dean feels like he needs to make up for all the time he’s been with out Sam, who is the only things that keeps Dean from biting his fingernails. When Dean is with Sam, he feels less sad and alone. Dean can act like a kid with Sam, play and make up wild stories of Jedi Knights and Spies.
Even though Sam is mainly Dean’s responsibility, he likes taking care of Sam. He likes is when Sam wakes up scared and crawls into bed with Dean, crying and whimpering about a bad dream, likes the dependence Sam has on Dean. It makes him feel useful and wanted.
Dean doesn’t like taking care of his father though, it fills him with an emotion he can’t quite name or describe yet. He will come to know this feeling as depression, because really his father should be taking care of him, not the other way around. Dean shouldn’t have to wake his father up, hand him a few aspirin and glass of water. Doesn’t want to clean up after his father whether it’s food or, in some cases, puke. But Dean feels like he has to do it, because who else will?
So in the time between the check-in at the motel and when his father stumbles in drunk or hurt, Dean bites his nails down to sore, red stumps with worry, sadness and fear. But John never notices the little smears of blood Dean’s fingers leave on his clothes or the Impala. Because he doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to believe that he’s driving his eight year old son into habit.
Eventually Dean will drop this habit, because he finds alternatives to biting his nails. But for now, this is Dean’s habit. A bad habit that most parents would try and stop their kids from doing.
Thanks for reading, comments are appreciated! :)